The Cave
by Maggie Doyle
Summary: Chase finds Thirteen hurt and terrified. As Chase tries to figure out what happened, Thirteen tries everything to forget. Dark fic.
1. Chapter 1

The Cave

Summary: She didn't want any more nightmares. She couldn't handle any more nightmares.

Warning: Attempted rape. Story will be dark

A/N: First story in a while. This idea has been bugging me for a while, so I decided to write it down. Hope you like.

Remy stalked into the locker room with only one thing in mind: sleep. She had been up all night in the sleeping lab with Chase following one of House's hunches. After working a half day, Remy was ready for sleep. As Remy moved her way to her locker she started slipping off her lab coat. Wrapping it over her left arm, she moved to unlock her dial. Her fingers fumbled, slipping off her lock numerous times before finally opening the small metal door.

As she moved to put up her lab coat, a large hand slammed hand slammed her locker closed. The loud noise startled the young doctor. Before she had time to react, a full body slammed her against her locker. Meaty hands pinned her painfully, collecting her hands above her head. The attacker moved his free hand all over her body as a raspy voice threatened her against crying out for help.

The threat kept the young doctor silent, but didn't keep her for fighting. Her body struggled more violently against her attacker as she felt his hand move under her shirt. The rough hand fondled at her breast, his lips moving to her neck. His lips were sticky and his hands were pulling hard enough Remy let out a small scream. She immediately regretted, trying to defend her body against an attack she knew was coming. Instead the hands released her, letting the young doctor's frail body fall to the ground in a small heap.

"Thirteen?" The voice was confused. "Dr. Hadley, are you alright?" This time the voice was more alert, closer to the mess.

Remy tried to look up at the voice, recognizing it as Chase.

"Remy," his voice was softer now, "were you hurt?" He looked at the young doctor, trying to figure out what happened. He reached over to try and comfort her causing Remy to violently pull away, tears rushing down her face.

"Please don't tell." The voice was weak, struggling to come up through the tears.

"What happened?"

No answer, just tears.

"Can I at least make sure you aren't hurt?" Remy nodded, biting her lower lip before sitting herself up on the bench. She flinched as Chase touched her, but let him do a basic examination, crying silently to herself.

Remy took a deep breath, closed her eyes before standing up.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "I'm fine, promise. Just startled myself."

"Remy, you were on the floor crying," Chase said, not believing her.

"Look you checked me over, I'm okay," she said with more authority.

"You screamed," he tried again. Remy didn't look at the other doctor. Instead she grabbed her things from her opened locker and walked out, leaving a confused Chase trying to put together what happened.

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><p>Remy walked into the side office almost three hours earlier than expected. She was still incredibly drained from such a long night. She spent most the night in tears, trying to piece together what happened. She stayed in the living room, keeping the television on because nothing scared her more than the silence. When she finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion, she was haunted by vivid night terrors. Once 4 a.m. rolled around, Remy decided she had enough and got ready to go to work.<p>

She sat there in silences, reading through a case file left on House's desk. She tried to focus on the list of symptoms, but her mind decided to focus on the other day. _His _hands were all over her, controlling and destroying her once again. Her eyes closed, trying to force her mind to focus on her breathing, anything other than _him_.

_In… out… in… out…_

She could do this. She could face this day… face House… face Chase… Chase. She had almost forgotten about him. He knew… he saw her. He wasn't going to let this go, was he? Remy's breathing sped up and her hands started to shake. She couldn't do this. She couldn't face Chase. Not yet. Her leg start shaking uncontrollable and all she could think about was getting out of there. She needed to be anywhere else. She couldn't do this.

She couldn't.

Hands still shaking, Remy gathered up the file neatly on the table. She kept an eye on the door the entire time. Moving as calmly as she could, Remy left the office. She stopped at the elevator, but felt her legs starting to shake even more. Deciding being confined to a small box was probably not the best idea, Remy headed to stairs. All but running down them, she reached the main level where she high tailed it out of there before anyone could see her.

Remy was in her car in a matter of seconds. Her breathing still was erratic, and no amount of "in and out" was going to help her. She just sat there, shaking.

Crying.

Remy couldn't stop it. She hated tears more than anything. She tried to stop, but the tears became more prominent. Her leg was still shaking.

"Please stop," Remy begged. She kept mumbling her plead over and over, wanting nothing more than her leg to stop shaking.

She sat there for hours, or maybe on minutes, until the tears finally dried up and she was finally able to take back control of her body. She took a couple of deep breathes for good measures before putting her hand on the steering wheel.

For a second the idea of going back popped into the young doctor's mind.

"I can't," Remy mumbled as her leg started to shake again. She repeated the words again and again. She tried to reason with herself, but deep down she knew her anxiety would win out, at least for today. She would go back home, text Foreman she won't be coming in, and…

And, what? Sleep? She didn't want any more nightmares. She couldn't handle any more nightmares.

"Just get home Remy," she told herself. Taking a deep breath, she started her car. She could do this. "Just get home."


	2. Chapter 2

The Cave: Chapter Two

A/N: So I didn't get much (any) response to the last chapter. Hopefully this chapter will clear up some things and shine some light on where I plan to take this story. I know it is a little confusing and Thirteen seems to be going crazy, but hopefully it will all make perfect sense. Anyways, hope you like. Any feedback would be wonderful!

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><p>Remy sat on her couch with a cup of hot tea. She was in sweats and a loose t-shirt, trying to make herself comfortable. She couldn't sleep, not that she had any real desire to. The television was playing in the background, but it was just noise so she could try and pretend she was not alone. Not that it really worked. Being alone was the one and only constant in her life anymore.<p>

Even before Remy went to prison, she had started pushing everyone away again. But after everything, that closed herself off even more than before her and Eric started dating. She couldn't imagine letting anyone know the truth. She blamed herself enough already, she couldn't handle anyone else doing the same.

Lost in thought, Remy didn't hear the knock on the door at first. The second knock was much louder and scared the young doctor. She looked at the door in terror; afraid of whom it might me. _Him?_ He promised her would find her again. She knew he wouldn't lie. He made that quite clear.

"Thirteen?"

The second worse person it could be: Chase. She couldn't talk to him, not yet. She was not ready for his questions. Not ready for his prying. She couldn't do this. Her leg started shaking as she tried to collect her thoughts. She couldn't do this.

"Thirteen, please, I just want to talk to you." His voice sounded pleading and before Remy knew what she was doing, she got up to open her door. Her hand was trembling as it reached for the handled, her mind playing through all the horrible scenarios that were possible from opening the door.

Once she did, she saw a frustrated Chase, waiting on the other side of her door. She wondered what he thought of her. Did he think she was insane? Was she insane? She sure felt that way anymore. Instead of a polite greeting, Remy just stared at him, hoping he wasn't planning on staying long.

Chase didn't wait for an invite in, just walked passed his coworker. He knew well enough he would not get any real answers out in the hallway.

"Come in," Remy said with discontent. She pulled her arms around her as she followed the Australian to the couches.

"You weren't at work." It was just a statement, but Remy took it as an attack. She wanted to lie, say she wasn't feeling well, but nothing would come out. Instead she sat down, biting her lips, trying not to show fear.

"Thirteen," Chase tried again, unsuccessfully moving to catch the other doctor's eyes. "Remy, I am worried about you. You were attacked yesterday, it is normal to be scared. But I am..."

"I wasn't attacked," Remy interrupted with a bit of confidence in her otherwise shaky voice.

"You were on the floor, hurt... You screamed," Chase said, replaying the events for the millionth time in his head. He was still not quite sure why Thirteen would deny what happened.

"I wasn't attacked," she said again with even more assurance in her voice.

"Pretending it didn't happen isn't going to help anyone. What? Do you know who did it? Are you scared; because I can help you. We can talk to Cud…" Chase stopped talking when he noticed Remy. Her leg was shaking uncontrollably and she was about to chew through her lip, trying not to cry.

"I… I wasn't attacked in the locker room," Remy said quietly. She looked at her coworker and saw a side of him she never saw before. He looked sad and confused. He looked like he honestly wanted to understand what happened and help her. But Remy knew the truth. Remy knew what would result in her confession. She knew the nightmares that haunted her now were only child's play of what could come. Right now she was alone by choice, but if she came clean, she would never have anyone.

So instead of opening up, she told Chase she was fine. She lied again, becoming more and more confident with each word.

"The Huntington's… it is…" Good, play the sick card. Make him feel bad for pushing you this far. Her lies came out with more ease, acting ashamed of her disease. Chase gave her a look of sympathy as her story continued.

"I am sorry I pushed, I was just scared. I really thought you were…" Chase stopped. "Are you sure you are going to be okay? Is there anything I can do?"

"It just freaked me out… but I am really okay," Thirteen said with a smile. Chase finally stood, almost embarrassed to still be there. As he reached for the door he turned around and looked at Thirteen for a moment.

"I am here for you." And with that, the doctor left.

Remy just sat on the couch, replaying what just happened in her head. She was so close to being honest with him, to telling him what happened. She almost told Chase about _Him._

Part of her wanted to tell Chase everything. Tell him what she did. Tell him what was done to her. But she knew better. She would not get some fairytale open arms of love and acceptance. No, the truth would only isolate her more.

So, with little options left, she was left to live like this. In constant terror, hating herself. And honestly, she knew she didn't deserve anything better. What kind of person can do that to someone she loved? Rationalizing it however she wanted to, she did the one thing she thought she never could, and she would now pay the price. _He_ made sure of that.


	3. Chapter 3

The Cave: Chapter Three

A/N: Still not much response, but I do really appreciate the feedback. I am currently working on finding a beta for the story, so hopefully the mistakes will be fixed with that. However, that will mean there will be a longer time gap between the chapters. I also know this is a little different writing style, and I hope it portrays the emotions of the characters well. Hope you enjoy and again, I do appreciate the feedback!

Warning: This is again a darker fic. I know it hasn't been too graphic, but I would rather be safe than sorry. With that said, this chapter is going to be more dark/graphic than the first two. Be warned.

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><p>Remy couldn't stay still, not since Chase left. Her leg was still shaking, moving just faster than her racing mind. She paced the room, trying to calm herself down. The task seemed all but hopeless. Everything was falling apart. She was going insane and there was no one around to stop her. She was isolated between the lies and secret she kept from those around her.<p>

Remy stopped in her tracks, taking a deep breath as she tried to get _him_ out of her mind. She was more than frustrated by _his _continuous presents in her unconsciousness, torturing her one more time. The flashbacks were becoming more common and many times she couldn't even tell if they were real or not. Was she really endangered again or was she just crazy? Either way, she wasn't exactly sure how she was going to deal.

She couldn't do this.

Those words haunted her again. She believed them more and more every time. She couldn't actually do this.

Remy's mind went to Chase. Maybe she couldn't handle this, at least alone. He could help. But before the idea even settled, she already doubted it.

What could he do? If she was going insane, wasn't he just going to help lock her away? Put her with all society's rejects like she belonged. She knew if she told him everything, he would for sure have her locked away. No, there was a reason she had not told.

She couldn't do this.

There was no way out. Remy could feel her whole body shake. All she wanted to do was fall on the floor and cry. Just cry and cry until there was nothing left of her. She would give anything just to disappear, runaway from all of this.

But _he_ would be there. There was no place she could run that _he _wouldn't be. He was already so deep in her mind; there was no way to escape him_._

This fact settled on the young doctor's mind, causing a small whimper to leave her mouth. She was stuck, forever trapped in this nightmare.

It was about this time that a scalpel from an old bio set she had out on displayed caught her eye. The blade caught the light in the most alluring matter. It wasn't like this was the first time she thought about taking her own life, but for some reason it was different. She was much calmer about the idea. Logically she knew this was the only escape.

Her body stilled for a second before the young doctor moved towards the display.

She could do this.

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><p>Chase walked into the side office late the next morning. The Australian doctor had been out rather late the night before, drowning himself in vodka and a beautiful brunette. The headache he was carrying now was pretty mild compared to some he had been experiencing in his past, but it was still not welcoming the hospital's lights. Honestly, the last place he wanted to be was in this office, but he refused to call in.<p>

"You're late," Taub said without looking up from his newspaper. Chase gave him a look before searching the room. Only Taub and Foreman sat by around the desk. Thirteen wasn't there. He wasn't sure why, but the blonde started to panic.

"Where is Thirteen?" he asked quickly.

"Haven't heard from her yet. Assume she is still sick," Foreman said nonchalantly. Without saying a word, Chase all but ran out of the office, leaving his two coworkers puzzled.

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><p>"Thirteen!" Chase had been knocking for a full minute with no response. He had tried calling her on his way there but all his calls had gone straight to voicemail.<p>

"Can I help you?" the voice came from a young man down the hall a little bit.

"Do you know Dr. Hadley?" Chase asked, worry consuming him.

"Oh yeah, she should be at work," the neighbor responded a little hesitantly.

"I know I work with her at the hospital. I think she is sick, she might have hurt herself," Chase explained, trying to see if this man knew how to get in.

"I house sat for her when she went on her trip a while ago," the man answer, concerned by Chase's action. "Give me a second." The man disappeared for a second before popping back out in the hall.

"Dr. Hadley hasn't been doing well, has she?" he asked. Chase didn't respond, waiting for the younger man to unlock the door.

As Chase walked in the door, he wasn't sure what to expect. Possibly that all her things were gone and she ran away again. Maybe Thirteen curled in a corner crying. Whatever it was, something in his gut told him that this was wrong.

"Thirteen?" Chase said, turning the corner to the open apartment. He scanned the open area, the neighbor in tow.

As he walked into the bedroom he noticed the bathroom door slightly ajar. A small glimmer of crimson caught his eyes and the young doctor took off running. As he flung open the door it took all of him not to just stop in pure shock.

There in the oversized tub laid Remy, pale as can be. But it wasn't Thirteen that caught Chase's attention, it was the pool of blood outside the tub, right under her left lifeless wrist.

Chase was already at the body when Remy's young neighbor came walked into the bathroom. Unlike the doctor, he had not been exposed to that much blood on a daily basis. His voice shook as he asked the obvious question he wasn't ready to believe.

"Call 9-1-1!" Chase ordered in response. The younger man fumbled with his phone before finally dialing the emergency response.

Chase had begun triage the best he could. Pressure to the wound. Look for a heartbeat. He replayed all the first aid 101 as he aided his friend, praying he wasn't too late. After a moment of looking, he felt a heartbeat. It was faint, and he knew that it wasn't going to last much longer.

He wasn't too late.

Chase went to autopilot after that, recruiting Thirteen's neighbor before the paramedics arrived minutes later. It wasn't until she was on the stretcher, IV's in her arm that Chase took a breath. Wiping off his friend's blood from his hands, Chase all but collapsed in tears on the bathroom floor.


	4. Chapter 4

The Cave: Chapter Four

A/N: First let me thank my wonderful beta Chocolate Scones. Really appreciate the help! Second, thanks for all you wonderful reviews! I love hearing what you all think! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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><p>Chase sat on the blood stained floor in complete silence. Confusion and guilt plagued the young doctor as he replayed his last interaction with Thirteen over and over again. He should have realized what she was doing, saying anything to get him to leave. He should have kept on pressing until she opened up to him.<p>

"Do you want to take a shower?" The voice startled Chase. He looked up to see Thirteen's neighbor standing at the door, obviously crying. "I mean, you are covered in… you can come over and shower if you'd like"

Chase nodded but stayed seated. He was covered in his coworker's blood. His pants were ruined from where he kneeled to tend to her, his shirt smeared when he wiped off his hands. This was his friend's blood over him, from a wound she made. The thought made Chase want to vomit as he stood.

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><p>Chase walked out of the shower feeling no cleaner than when he got in. All he wanted to do was get to the hospital and check on Thirteen. He wondered if anyone from the team knew. She would have been taken to PPTH, but would the ER staff recognize her. Would they even tell House if they did?<p>

Chase changed into the clothes the younger man let him borrow. Gym shorts and a t-shirt would work for now. He had a change of clothes in the locker room that he could change into after he found out how Remy was doing. He left the apartment, thanking Thirteen's neighbor and exchanging numbers so he could keep the other man updated on Remy's condition.

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><p>Thirteen was still in the ER when Chase arrived at the hospital. He found her in a private room, a nurse sitting at the end of her bed. She was Thirteen's babysitter as part of her suicide watch. Chase gave the nurse a halfhearted smile before turning his concentration to Thirteen"<p>

She looked so pale, almost lifeless. She had a white bandage on her left arm and an IV going _into _her right. She was still unconscious, but that was to be expected with all the blood lost and anti anxiety meds they had her on.

Chase hadn't even sat down when his pager went off; House. Chase wondered what the other man knew. Had Cuddy told him? This wasn't a conversation he was ready to have. Instead he sent a text to House, explaining that he was taking a personal day. If anything, at least he was putting off this conversation for at least a couple of hours.

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><p>It was around noon before Remy regained consciousness. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she tried to place where she was. It took all of a second before the events of last night filled her mind. Blinking a couple of times, she moved her head to look at her throbbing wrist.<p>

"Thirteen," Chase's voice was loud, filled with an emotion Remy couldn't quite place. She wanted to respond, but the words wouldn't come.

"Dr. Hadley," said a new voice. "Do you know where you are?" Remy followed the voice to a young nurse who was standing over her. Remy nodded, tears forming in her eyes; she was in the hospital.

"Do you know why you are here?" Remy nodded again. Because… because she tried to end her life. Shame overtook the young doctor as she silently wished she was someone else, _anywhere else_ right now.

"Alright, I am going to call the doctor to come in now, okay?" Remy nodded again, barely paying attention to the nurse's sugarcoated words. Remy was fully aware of the tears now streaming down her face.

"It's okay…" There was Chase again. His voice was caring and sympathetic; a new side of her coworker than she was use to. She could tell he had been crying and she wondered what he was thinking. Had he found her?Was that why he was here and not any other member of her team?

Remy opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She didn't even know where to start; She wanted to defend her actions, rationalize what she did. She wanted to explain to Chase, to everyone, that she was not crazy. There was just a moment of weakness. She was fine now, no need to get all worked up.

The words just would not come.

"Dr. Hadley." The new male voice startled Remy. Her eyes started welling upand she felt uncomfortable in her own skin. There were so many people to gawk at her, comment on her failure, and then the failure of that failure.

"My name is Dr. Carlin, I am one of the attendees in the ER," the new doctor explained with a fake smile. He stood over Remy, checking her lab work and overall wellbeing with a quick look over. He gave Chase a look that told him to wait outside before continuing. "So do you know why you are here?"

Remy nodded shamefully.

"Alright, good. Now do you think this is something, given the chance, you would try again?_" _Remy stayed silent, biting her lower lip. She wanted to say no, but she couldn't form the words. "Okay… umm… Remy, this is something we need you to be honest about."

Tears completely filled Remy's eyes when all she could muster was a shrug; She knew that what she did was wrong, but after getting to that place once, she wasn't sure what it would take to get there again.

"Alright, well we are here to make sure that doesn't happen, okay? So in the circumstances, there are a few things we do as preventive measurements. There is going to be a nurse staying with you, just so that if you get in that place again, we can better help you," he said. Remy wanted to laugh at the thought of her own personal babysitter. "We are going to move you to the ICU soon, and have a psychologist come talk to you. They will set up preventive programs and decide where we go from here. Alright?"

Remy took a deep breath and nodded.

"Good. I'll send your friend back in," the doctor said with a smile before leaving the room. Remy waited for him to leave before letting the tears just fall. The reality of what she had done was hitting her.

She tried to kill herself.


	5. Chapter 5

The Cave: Chapter Four

A/n: Sorry about the long wait in between chapters! I could come up with some lame excuse, but I just didn't have time to focus on this chapter. Hopefully you enjoy the new chapter!

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I really enjoy/appreciate the feedback. You guys are AWESOME!

The Reserved Reader: I agree with you on the name thing. My original intent was to have Chase refer to her as 13, I guess I just got lazy.

Chocolate Scones: I hope you are still with us! Missed having your comments before I published.

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><p>It didn't help. She almost killed herself, and it didn't help. She couldn't get that out of her mind. She did the one thing she thought she could never do, the one thing that was supposed to cure everything, and it didn't help. <em>He<em> was still there, tormenting her. She could still feel him all over her.

She sat silently, trying to ignore that fact. It infuriated her. It was so long ago, why couldn't she not just get over it. As a doctor, she knew she wasn't the only one this happened to. She had seen girls much younger than her handle it so much better. They didn't wind up here.

But she did. Because she was weak.

She was weak.

And pathetic.

This should not be this hard to deal with. Why couldn't she just get over it?

"Thirteen." The new voice was soft. She didn't have to look to know it was Chase. She could tell by his voice he was concerned about her, which just extended her frustration. Why was he there? They weren't friends. He never really cared about her before.

"You don't have to be here." Remy's voice was cold. She wouldn't even look at her coworker, just focus on the wall. He will go away if you just focus on the wall.

Chase didn't respond right away. She heard him move closer to her, trying to catch her eyes.

"I want to," he said feebly. Remy knew he was lying. He felt guilty and his doctor instincts were kicking in. He wasn't staying because he cared, because they had some deep connection. No, this was out of pity and guilt.

"No you don't." Her voice stayed distance. She just wanted him to leave. Why wouldn't he just leave?

"Thirteen…" Chase started, but Remy was quick to cut him off.

"You feel guilty. You think you need to save me."

"No, but…"

"But what? What do you think is going to happen here? Do you really think _you_ are going to be some knight in shining armor that saves me from myself?" Remy was furious as the words left her mouth. She wanted Chase gone more than anything right now. She couldn't stand him being there, looking at her if she might break any second. It was the same look people gave her when they found out about her disease. She didn't need their pity then, and she doesn't need Chase's pity now.

Remy sat in silent, but all she wanted to do was scream. Scream at Chase for being here with that look. Scream at her for trying to kill herself…

and failing.

Scream at all the other people who have moved on, living their lives as she was so stuck. And more than anything she wanted to scream at _Him._

"Thirteen," Chase said after a moment. "I want to be here, because you need to know you have someone who will listen and be here for you."

"Please leave me alone." Remy's voice almost broke as she spoke. She couldn't look at Chase, she was too afraid to see the look he was giving her.

"You need sleep," Chase said quietly. "I'll leave while you rest, but I'll be back." There was kindness in his voice Remy couldn't place. It made her want to change her mind, but before she could work up the strength to open her mouth, he was gone.

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><p>Chase took a deep breath as he step outside Thirteen's room. Part of him wanted to scream in frustration, and part of him wanted to cry. The reality of the situation kept weighting down on him. He slowly moved to the bench down the hall and before he could even sit down, tears were flowing down his eyes.<p>

His mind wanted to escape anywhere else, but all he could focus on was Thirteen. This wasn't something alcohol and girls could fix. No amount of trying could make him forget what he witnessed. All that blood, though washed away hours ago felt present on his hands.

He just sat there, numb. A nurse came over to inform him they were moving Thirteen to ICU and he barely acknowledged her presents.

"How could you?" The angry voice barely registered to Chase. He looked up to see an angry Foreman storming down the hall. He stood up quickly, trying to compose himself for his coworker. "How could you not tell me?"

Chase just looked at him, confused. His mind was so wrapped around Thirteen, he wasn't ready for any House drama quite yet.

"She was my girlfriend. I think I have the right to know," Foreman said loudly, waiting for an answer.

"You didn't need to know," Chase said emotionlessly. He wasn't trying to be cruel; it just wasn't his story to tell.

Before Chase knew what happened, he was on the ground a few feet back. His jaw started throbbing as he realized Foreman just punched him. Before he could say something, a crowd started gathering and Foreman stormed off. A nurse squatted down to examine his jaw. She said something about needing to get it checked out, but Chase just watched as his friend continued down the hall.


	6. Chapter 6

The Cave: Chapter 6

A/N: I am so thankful for all the wonderful reviews. I love reading your feedback! Hopefully everyone enjoys this chapter.

The Reserve Reader, Cris, and Ta679: Thanks again for your continue support! I am so glad you are enjoying the story.

a: Thanks! That is part of the reason I wrote this story. I am so sick of stories that all but romanticize the violence and then before you know it the girl has gotten over the trauma by just getting close(or in bed) with someone else. Don't get e wrong, I do believe connections are a great way to deal with any issues, but it isn't something that just happens. Any way, I'll get off my soap box now...

ED: Thanks for the wonderful support! This has been my favorite story I have worked on, and I will try my hardest to make sure to finish it... however the way it is going, it might be a long story!

Anyways, on to the story!

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><p>Remy sat in her new room, silent. She couldn't stop looking at her wrist, a now permanent mark of her complete and utter failure. The bandages had been changed once she arrived in the ICU. It was then that she could really study the cut. It was deeper than she remembered.<p>

Not that she wanted to remember. All she could focus on was that moment when she thought she had succeeded, she was free. Horrified, but free.

But she wasn't free of _him_, of anything. Instead she was locked up again. Kept prisoner in what was once her only sanctuary. She looked up at the nurse who was sitting in the corner, reading a book. Every so often Remy caught the older lady looking up, pity in her eyes. Remy wanted to punch her.

"Remy Hadley?" There was a new voice. Remy looked up to see a woman with a briefcase standing at the door. Biting her lips, Remy nodded. The nurse closed her book, knowing it was time for her to leave.

"Hi Remy, my name is Dr. Jami Laswell. I am a psychologist here to talk to you, if that's okay."

Remy didn't want to talk, but knew she really lacked the options. She knew she was one wrong checkmark from being sent to the crazy ward. She opened her mouth up to say okay… to say anything, but the words wouldn't form.

"It's okay. I know this is hard, but I have some questions for you so we can decide what the best way is to keep you safe. Now before I start, I want to make it clear that what we talk about is going to stay between the two of us. The only exception is if you are planning to hurt yourself." Laswell moved to a chair next to the best and opened her briefcase. She started pulling out papers as she continued to smile.

"So can you tell me what happened? Why are you here today?"

I cut my wrist. The words that were so ever present in her head refused to form in her mouth. Instead tears just built up.

"I… I tried to kill myself." The voice sounded completely foreign to Remy. Saying those words, that truth, out loud somehow made it real.

"Why?" The simple word made Remy freeze. Why? Was it really all because of _him_? Was she really that simple, that pathetic? All she wanted to do was escape. Get away from him. But she was never going to escape him. He was everywhere and she couldn't handle that. She couldn't live with that.

"I couldn't handle it." The quiet words came out before Remy could stop it.

"What couldn't you handle?" Remy thought about answering, being completely honest, but she didn't know how. The thought of letting this stranger in, telling her everything, absolutely terrified Remy. What if she blamed her? It was _her _fault she was there. Remy could feel her leg start shaking.

Laswell sat patiently for a minute, hoping for an answer before she continued.

"Alright, well maybe we can get back to that. I have some questions for you here. I am going to go outside for a while so you can finish them. The nurse is going to come back in, but you don't have to say anything to her. Now Remy, this is very important that you are honest with this. Do you understand?" Remy nodded as she looked at the clipboard Laswell was handing her. More questions to figure out how insane she really was.

Remy scanned over them quickly. Typical questions to determine her risk and level of depression.

Was she sleeping normally?

Eating normally?

Had she ever tried to hurt herself?

Remy started at top, marking her answers carefully. She wanted to be honest, she needed to be honest.

No she hadn't been sleeping normally, night terrors kept her awake almost every night. Her eating habits weren't much better. She never really noticed it, but the in the past month she completely lost her appetite.

She continued to answer the questions, wondering how Dr. Laswell would interpret them.

Had she ever been sexually assaulted?

It might as well have been the only question on the page. Remy looked at the yes box beside the question. She knew what it meant if she marked it. There would be no turning back. The secret she had kept for so long would be out. He hands started shaking.

Remy looked up at the nurse, making sure she wasn't watching. She couldn't let anyone know, but something in her didn't want to lie anymore. She couldn't handle the lie. She couldn't deny that _he_ didn't completely rule her life.

The yes box was marked with a shaky X. Remy looked at it for minutes, debating if she should erase it. Cross it out. The X just mocked her, labeled her as another victim. Another pitiful victim of life's unfortunate situations.

"Are you okay?" Remy looked up to see a very concerned nurse. "You are shaking. Are you okay?" Remy just looked at the nurse.

No.

No, she was not okay.


	7. Chapter 7

The Cave: Chapter Seven

A/n: First, sorry for the delay. I posted this chapter as soon as I finished it because I hate keeping you guys waiting. Because of that, there are probably a few more mistakes than usual. Sorry!

The Reserved Reader, Yvonne, Tanner, Jay, and Ta679:Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I really appreciate the feedback.

Gigi: Thank you! I know what you mean! I really miss her character and have been watching pretty much anything Olivia Wilde to help fill the emptiness.

Cris: Thanks for the continued support! I promise I will have Chase back soon. I keep trying to write him back in, but I feel like it isn't quite time.

ED, Lindsey, and a: I really appreciate the personal insight and honesty! I really hope you like how I continue to play out her recovery process.

Again, I really appreciate everyone's feedback and honesty. This chapter is a little intense and may be hard to follow. Please be honest with your reaction. I really want to give this story line justice.

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><p>Remy took a deep breath as she looked up at the nurse. Holding back all the tears that were threatening to fall, she put on a smile and told the nurse she was done with the paperwork. She must be strong. She had to be strong. By checking that box, she had labeled herself. Now she just needed to show them that she was more than that. It happened, it was horrible, she had a little breakdown, but now she was better.<p>

She wasn't going to be defined by that. She refused to be.

The nurse gave her a look before stepping outside to inform Dr. Laswell. She could do this, she could.

After a few minutes Dr. Laswell joined them in the room. She gave Remy a smile before looking through the answers. Remy watched as the other doctor silently read through her answers. Remy wanted to see any response to her answers, but the doctor read it almost emotionlessly.

After almost a minute of awkward silence Dr. Laswell began. She went through the list of yeses, asking detailed questions about each one. Remy gave short answers, voiding almost all emotions from her voice. She detailed her sleeping and eating patterns, explaining nightmares and skipped lunches. She explained her mother's death but stayed silent about her brother's. She could do this. She could convince her that she wasn't weak. She was stronger than this, stronger than _him._

The last yes was the one Remy feared the most and mentally calmed herself as she waited for the questions.

"The sexual assault, was it recent?"

Remy took a deep breath, looking for an answer. Was it recent? It seemed like it happened yesterday. With her vivid night terrors, it might as well have. But it wasn't that recent. It was long enough ago she should have been over it. If she says yes, will she think she is in more risk?

"Remy, are you okay talking about it? Because, we don't have to if you don't want to."

You can always talk about it later in a mental ward. That was what she meant. Now or later. She marked the box, she knew what that meant.

"I'm okay." Stay focus. "It was almost a year ago." Small smile and no crying. Absolutely no crying.

"Do you mind telling me what happened?"

What happened? His hands were everywhere and even though she screamed and fought, he just laughed. He laughed and smiled as he beat her. He left no part of her untouched, and as he pinned her against the wall, he made sure she knew that she was his whenever he wanted.

"Do you know who it was?"

Yes_. Him_. The man who haunted her, who had complete control over her.

Stay strong. Say yes, but with confidence. He doesn't have any control. I am fine. These are simple words to say. Say something, anything.

Silence until the next question.

"Do you ever have dreams about it?"

Every night. He was back and she was helpless.

Remy wanted to say no. She wanted to tell the doctor it didn't bother her. She was over it. She was over it and done with it and it would be freaking wonderful if she would stop talking about it.

Instead she nodded.

"Are these the nightmares that wake you up?"

No. Because she was over it and done with it.

Another nod.

Where in the world where her words? She knew how to speak, how to lie, but that talent eluded her.

"Okay. Do you ever have flashbacks during the day?"

The locker room. Was that a flashback? He was there and then he wasn't.

Another nod.

So much for not being weak.

"Alright, well this is common for victims of sexual assault." Dr. Laswell said after writing a few things on the paper.

Victim. Even this stranger could see how weak she was. Weak and unoriginal. Just wonderful.

"Are you familiar with post traumatic stress disorder?" Remy sat there as Laswell explained what PTSD was, and how many people who experienced traumatic situations like she had suffered from the disease.

So much for a strong face. She was getting so pathetic she couldn't even convince a stranger she was okay. Where were her words? If she could just open her mouth, she'd be able to convince the doctor she was okay. She wasn't crazy and she wasn't suffering from PTSD. Just a couple of nightmares that is all. It should be expected, right? But other than that, she was fine.

She was fine.

She didn't even believe herself.

As Dr. Laswell started talking about different medications and therapy, Remy could only hear crazy.

Crazy and weak.


	8. Chapter 8

The Cave: Chapter 8

A/n: So sorry about the long wait. This chapter has been incredibly hard to write. Hopefully you enjoy this short chapter and I will try my hardest not to make you wait so long again!

Super thanks to Chocolate Scones for being a wonderful beta/sound board!

Xander, Lix34, 88la, Tess, Waz91, Meg224, Gigi, Gus, Mandy, Melody, Ana, DJ, kylie, Ta679, Ryan, ED, and a: Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews. I really do appreciate everyone!

The Reserved Reader: Thank you for the insight. I am working on the OOC. The events changed her, but I want her response to be Thirteenish... if that makes sense.

Kiki: The first chapter was suppose to be a flashback, at least that was what I was trying to allude to.

razmataz13drums: sorry about the censoring. It is honestly the way I usually talk. I know I need to be more... Thirteenish.

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><p>Chase hadn't built up the courage to go back to Thirteen just yet. His mind kept going back to what she asked him. Did he really expect to save her?<p>

He searched himself for an answer. While he knew he would never be able to save her by himself, he needed to give her some kind of hope. Something, anything to hang on to.

The irony of the situation almost made Chase laugh; a man with no hope in his life was searching for someone else.

At that moment Chase saw only one option.

The hopeless man knelt down to pray.

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><p>"Doctors these days… never caring about patient's privacy." The new voice startled Remy.<p>

"House." It wasn't a welcome, just an acknowledgment of his presence. It was only a matter of time before he showed up here. Part of her was hoping he just didn't care enough to leave his office, but she was smarter than that.

"You know, after two days of no show, one starts to worry." Remy let out a laugh. The nurse looked up from her voice, and gave Remy the note she was more than willing to kick the new man out at any second.

House doesn't say another word as he limped his way over to her bed. Without asking he took a seat and begun to really study her. It took a moment before words left his mouth. He just sat there, eyes half open and mouth slightly agape.

"Wrist? And to think my money was on alcohol and drugs," House said after a moment. Remy hesitated to even look at him. She was terrified as to what she might see in the older man's eye. Her mind went back to when she confessed to him at the spud gun conference. Would he really be that cold again?

Instead of staying to harass Remy, House stood up. He limped to the door before turning around.

"I thought I was going to kill you," House said quietly. "Next time, don't try to take my job; you obviously suck at it." Remy smirked as she watched him leave the room.

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><p>Remy had been left alone for some time. Her body begged her to sleep, but she was still too terrified of her continuous night terrors. Waking up screaming was not something she really wanted to experience in this hospital. They already thought she was crazy enough.<p>

Remy took a deep breath before something at the door caught her eye. Eric. He just stood there; arms crossed as her watched her carefully. Remy wanted to say something, but for what seemed like the thousandth time, words escaped her.

Eric seemed to have the same problem. He opened his mouth, but closed it just as quickly. His eyes never left her as he moved to her bed.

Remy wanted to cry more now than ever before. As she looked into the eyes of her ex boyfriend, all she could see was how hurt and betrayed he was. In all her time knowing Eric, this was by far the most emotions he had ever shown.

"Why?" The word slipped through his mouth quietly.

There was that simple word again. If only her answer could be simple. If only she had an answer.

Eric didn't really wait for an answer, making Remy wonder if he actually wanted one. Instead he moved his hand slowly to her wrist. He took his eyes off hers and just stared at the bandages.

This was the first time someone stared at her wrist that Remy didn't feel complete shame. She didn't feel the need to hide the wound. It was a rather calming sense that overtook her.

Embarrassment finally did overtake Remy, as she pulled her wrist away. The movement was enough to knock Eric out of his trance. He got up and moved to leave. Stepping away from the bed, he looked Remy in the eyes one more time. He looked like he was going to say something, but before a word left his mouth he was out the door.


End file.
